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libido
albatross
guilt
perhaps a better calendar year
perhaps no more years
overextended your joy credit
a mountain of misery interest
Its your fault your father's sin
you should be ashamed of your dick
Its hurt everyone you love
it should kill you

This Is Garbage.

come and take me
when the insurance is ready
I've overstayed my welcome
and there's no life's work left
the opus is shelved
the losses are cut
a final vacation
a swift kick to butt
tiresome and tedium
the joyless get worse
no enemies but circumstance
predilections perverse

What Osama said to Salim.

"Sorry Salim, I um, don't have any mastermind plotter positions available right now.....I do need a driver however. "

Round up the butlers, maids ,cooks, and caddy's
Stick it to the working class not those with rich daddies.

Sit!

A panting dog on the car seat
is always pacing back and forth
anxious from the scenery
the odor of plenty
He's not grateful in this moment
He's not mindful his needs are met
The hierarchy is upside down right now
and he's sick to his stomach with desire
whimpering, whining, drooling
Shadddup! Lay down!

Older dogs give up give in
sigh and stretch
find a patch of sun
and dream your little doggie dreams.
thats a good boy.

A Well Worn Groove

no compatibility, therapy
or heir to be
amber waves of shame
consistently
you empty bucket
hungry ghost
desire head fool
and aching one

The Gadget Mannequins

an Army of One
Army Strong
Army: Not Everyone Gets Killed
Army: What Are You, Some Kind Of Puss?
We Eat IEDs For Breakfast
In today's Army you get all kinds of free shit to wear
in the desert sun
paid for by the fearful taxpayer!
We've got plenty of pay-day loan outlets located conveniently near our
bases.
Homesick? We've got Subways! Third Country Nationals
are busy making sure you eat fresh.
The Army Are Me!
Ow, The Army!
Im missing my Leggy, now sit on offramp and Beggy.

The Sea Captains

no aesthetic moves me,
no style is in now for me
no dolby surround or pixar stunt
If it was up to me, all the girls would
be in sixties star trek uniforms,
but i would be crying in the bridge
there would be some goddamn problem in engineering
there would be some fucking leak somewhere.
some men get to thrive doing what they were born to do.
most men sit around and watch tv

All work no play

I have forgotten how to play.
The rewards are small, like long uncrushed cigarette butts.
Summer reminds me of being ignored
thankfully left alone breaking bottles in the backyard
The last time I got away
was two years ago, I drank forty beers
in the pine beetle chewed trees of Idaho
reunited with my late teen friends
and my kid brother.
The guy Ive known since we were six
made me hike. He's all outdoorsy and organic now.
He used to get shithouse drunk seventeen years ago.
We both did, and there wasn't much else going on then.
There may have been some hard feelings about the groceries.
I probably drank more than my share of the beer.
There wasn't a guitar in sight, and that was fine.
I came back to Seattle feeling pretty good for a few days.
I wonder how many trees are left now.
It doesnt get cold enough in the winters to kill the beetles, these days.
I wonder how and when my dad is gonna die.
He's a good little beetle, snug in that trailer
chewing on the furniture, the occasional pack of smokes.

Belated Mothers day card

I hate you, mom
I hate you for dying.
I wish I'd have died that day
six years before you
so you could have collapsed
at the emergency room
and been devastated.
you're dead to me, for real
fuck your memory.
Every song, painting, recipe
its all bullshit.
Fuck you for leaving me.

Hard Cheese

You can never get what you want
havent felt this way since 2004
dont ever leave me, dont ever go
i cant afford to see my family
i cant afford to put out this record
i cant afford to live out my revenge fantasy against everyone
i CAN afford to drink
i can't afford to write more songs or tour.
Until all the debt is gone.
Until 2011.
I have friends that must be millionaires,
because they are always flying around.
Summer comes and they are here and there.
Some have been to Europe. Brazil. Thailand.
Ive never been to Mexico.
Ive only spent 6 hours in Canada stuck with a friend
who was denied entry.
I went to Boise this spring to get my piano and it
broke my savings.
I don't believe in Buddhist thinking about
not focusing on what you lack
I'm having the only fun I can afford right now-
bitching and self-pity
It is so very gratifying, it loosens up the
seratonin, gets the dopamine flowin.
I've been punished for being foolish enough to live a dream.
My sentence is spent in yards of dogshit and
thorny plants.
Thorny people with thorny needs.
I really dont give a shit about plants. I know how to dig.
Im really fucking good at it.
Im better than you at sprinkler work, troubleshooting, design,
and that is really sad.

Another night of impressions and grabbed spotlight.
Foolish moves in youth's direction, a hollowed shell of transparent ego and desire
Penury's gift is to stop me from trying
My work is not my passion, and my passion is a lot of work.

Why Come I Like To Watch 'Cops'

Because War On Terror rhymes with 'moron error'
because poor and unattractive people should get a chance to be on TV.
because I read about this in Fahrenheit 451, and it came true.
because I believe ninety nine percent of the force are decent blue collar working class guys doing a shitty job.
because its better than CSPAN, you get to see policy in action.
because of that catchy reggae tune
because I get a nauseous rush out of shaky camera work
and finally because I got nothin better to do, and I'm not above shadenfreude and voyeurism.

How The Beatles Ruined Everything For Me

It must have been 1978, only fifteen years since the recording was made.
Only six and a half since I was. The spooky album cover with four half moon faces staring bleakly, almost like vampires to a little kid. A dusty paper smell, a 12" halo of worn away paper on both sides. Franklin gothic liner notes, my step-mother's teenage signature. It seems they all marked their records back then.
I had my dad or step-mom (she was still just Dad's girlfriend then) put the record on the turntable a little out of my reach. There were speakers in a different room in which I had to close the door and be alone with this aural pornography.
At first the rotating Doppler hiss and crackle of terrifying anticipation.
Then a jerky stutter of farty sounding electric wood. After the third time around it builds to a wicked sounding bent note.
Lennon sings the word 'understand' very seriously. This was a heavy intimidating word to me as a kid, because usually an adult was staring down at you during a scolding that always ended with, "Understand?" and a menacing look.
Just before he thinks you'll understand, McCartney's bass does this little roller coaster trick that kind of gives you this weightless back of the schoolbus bump sensation.
I realized then I was born in the wrong time. I would look forward to a lifetime of anachronism. I would opt out of school dances in my teens and be awkward and mal-socialized. I would closet my fetish of 60's pop and hope my peers would never hear it outside the walls of my house, and out me for the non-Van Halen/ Metallica pussy I was.
I would always live in the wrong place too- and too late to be close to anything vital and cool.
Punk rock was somewhere far away from Pocatello, Idaho. It was somewhere in Salt Lake City perhaps, or California. Not that I would have the balls to dress like someone who needed their ass kicked.
Now that I'm in my mid-thirties I live in a bigger town, and I'm friends with people of the same fetish. It seems to me they had a more rounded adolescence, had more fun.
Thanks Beatles. Thanks for ruining my life.